Transcript
[00:00:05.460] - Imogen
Hello and welcome back to Dear Comms, the coffee break podcast where we tackle your biggest corporate comms challenges. I'm Imogen.
[00:00:13.570] - Amanda
And I'm Amanda. We're here to give you practical, no-nonsense advice so you can focus on the things that will really drive influence, engagement, and impact.
[00:00:24.070] - Imogen
Today's the first of a doubleheader. We're dealing with a topic we've had a load of questions about, and one that's familiar to all of us, and that's feedback, whether it's good, bad, or non-existent. Today, we're going to be looking at when you're on the receiving end of feedback, and next week, we'll explore how you can give feedback effectively to others.
[00:00:45.320] - Amanda
It's that word, feedback, isn't it? I think we automatically assume that we're not gonna like it, but it is essential for ongoing development and growth. The challenge is that it's not always delivered in the most helpful way. Now, I think this is sometimes because the feedback giver doesn't know how to give feedback effectively, and if that's you, listen to our next episode. But sometimes it's just a lack of awareness of their impact and the impact of their feedback.
[00:01:15.460] - Imogen
Absolutely. Receiving feedback can be so complicated. And it's something that I've struggled with throughout my career because it can hurt your feelings, it can leave you confused, or sometimes, and I think this is actually worse, you never get feedback.
[00:01:34.010] - Amanda
Yeah, and then you're left with a void, then you make assumptions. I think without clear, actionable feedback, it really is challenging to know where to focus your efforts for improvement, and it leaves you stuck and uncertain about your performance.
[00:01:49.680] - Imogen
Every type of feedback you get calls for a slightly different approach, although there are some commonalities. But why don't we work through each in turn and figure out a good way to handle them?
[00:02:02.350] - Amanda
I think there will be a red thread throughout this, and asking questions is one of them. But if we start with critical or negative feedback, that is tough. You might jump to to feeling that the comments are unfair, overly negative, or even personal. So it's really natural to feel defensive or disheartened. And I think sometimes it can sting a bit, but that's when it's really a goldmine for improvement.
[00:02:31.080] - Imogen
[Speaker:Katy Kelly] Yeah, the first thing to do when you're getting negative or critical feedback is to breathe. Big, deep breath. Your heart is gonna be telling you to react, to come back, to defend yourself. But take a beat. This feedback is data. This feedback is something that you need in order to do your job better. So while it might not be completely accurate, you need to find out more.
[00:03:02.110] - Amanda
Yeah, fight the biology and the adrenaline kicking in. This is where you need to engage in active listening. So repeat back what you've heard to make sure that you really understand what's being said. And ask plenty of questions, you know, can you provide an example? What do you think I need to improve? What does good look like? I like that question, what does good look like? Because it means they have to offer up something more of themselves.
[00:03:29.110] - Imogen
The key is to separate message from emotion. And although it's hard, be honest with yourself and ask yourself, is there a grain of truth? In what's being said. If we take out the tone, take out the delivery, take out the person giving the feedback, what is this really about?
[00:03:49.390] - Amanda
Yeah, that is absolutely critical. You know, we jump into assuming that it's bad intent or malice. Try not to, try and be open. Actually, is this feedback a question of misalignment or missed expectations? You know, are you managing a perception? I think it's important to think about what pressures are on the person giving feedback, you know, understanding a little bit more where they're coming from. You know, this might be feedback on the feedback that they've been given by somebody else.
[00:04:25.810] - Imogen
Absolutely, have some empathy. You know, if your boss is having a go at you, you can be sure that their boss is having a go at them. If it's a question of misalignment or missed expectations, This is somewhere you can really make a difference before work starts. So, how do you ensure that you are clear on what is needed before the fact? Are you talking to the right people? Are you asking the right questions? Do you know what good looks like for them?
[00:04:54.430] - Amanda
I think sometimes the feedback feels unresolved or inappropriate, and I think you've really got to seek clarity here. You want to understand, not vindicate what's going on. You know, it's not a situation where somebody wins over somebody else. Ultimately, your goal is to get that feedback in order to grow. So even harsh feedback can offer valuable insights if you approach it with an open mind. So, you know, how can you turn that critique into something that you can take action on.
[00:05:31.830] - Imogen
Really important to understand that feedback is not a zero-sum game. It's not an I win, you lose.
[00:05:37.390] - Amanda
Yeah.
[00:05:38.160] - Imogen
And, and how you respond matters almost more than the content of the feedback itself. Your response is a chance to show your values, to show your leadership, to show your desire for growth. So be gracious, Be thankful and be curious.
[00:05:58.550] - Amanda
Yeah, rise above it, if you like.
[00:06:00.470] - Imogen
Absolutely. Amanda, I think, you know, generally, if we ask the right questions, negative feedback can be quite specific. But sometimes, we've all had it, we get feedback which is kind of vague or generic, like, yeah, great job, or it needs a bit more work. How do we respond to that?
[00:06:21.980] - Amanda
I think it's very, very similar really. Take the initiative and try and get more insight. I think these questions are different though. So, you know, what specific aspects did you find made a difference? Or where do you see room for improvement? What can I focus on to take it to the next level? I think this encourages the feedback giver to give more information, and that allows you to act accordingly. You're asking them to give a little bit more of themselves in the feedback, because I think that really helps.
[00:06:59.590] - Imogen
Yeah, it's not about accepting any feedback as useful. While you're doing great, or whatever feels really good in the moment, it's not particularly helpful in your own development, in your own job moving forward. You may want to take the initiative and coach the feedback giver into how to give feedback better. So feedback on the feedback, I guess. You know, some people haven't been taught how to give useful input.
[00:07:30.170] - Amanda
Yeah, I think that's absolutely true. I think it's learnt by osmosis. I don't think it's formally trained into people as it could be. Unfortunately, when it comes to feedback, sometimes silence can be deafening.
[00:07:45.330] - Imogen
Yeah, it's so frustrating. You know, you're working hard, you're showing up, putting in the hours, making things happen, and it's like there's a wall in front of you. No critique, no praise, nothing.
[00:07:58.170] - Amanda
It's, I think, quite common in large multinationals, and it's that old adage that it probably means you're doing okay. So don't take it as a signal of failure.
[00:08:12.210] - Imogen
If you want to grow and develop though, Silence isn't good enough.
[00:08:16.220] - Amanda
No, you need to be proactive. It's important to let colleagues know that you're open to constructive input and that you welcome it. I think sometimes you can hold back on feedback because you don't want to be put in a difficult position, because you don't feel that the person will be receptive to it. But I think if you ask and make sure that they know that you're willing to have feedback, I think you're more likely to get it. You know, again, here's the question: I'd appreciate your thoughts on the recent project I completed. Are there any areas I could improve? You know, is there— am I doing something that I shouldn't be doing, or do I need to do more of something? I think you and I do it without thinking. I think it culturally works for us, because automatically, when we're working on client work, we'll always ask the other person's opinion on stuff.
[00:09:11.350] - Imogen
I mean, it goes back to the old adage that my father used to drum into me, you know, you don't ask, you don't get. And by initiating that conversation, you're setting a tone. You're showing other people that feedback is something you value. You're showing them that you're not afraid to learn. And that's a really powerful position to put yourself in. You always need to dig deeper. You always need to know more because If you know specifics, you can do it again and again. You can understand and replicate that success.
[00:09:47.380] - Amanda
I can't believe I'm saying this, but sometimes positive feedback can be frustrating too, can't it?
[00:09:52.800] - Imogen
It can.
[00:09:53.370] - Amanda
Well, it can be so non-specific. So again, you've got to delve deeper.
[00:09:57.940] - Imogen
Yeah, it's not good enough just to have a thank you for all your great work on X. If you can, ask follow-up questions. You know, what aspects stood out to you? How did my approach help? You know, you want to be able to identify the strengths that you have so you can build on them.
[00:10:16.450] - Amanda
Absolutely. Understanding where you're doing well, just as important as knowing where to improve, because it's going to enforce, you know, effective behaviors and strategies.
[00:10:28.710] - Imogen
I think to sum it up, when it comes to feedback, it's important to remember It isn't about ego. It isn't about how it makes you feel. It's about clarity. And how you respond is gonna say more about you than the feedback itself.
[00:10:43.770] - Amanda
Completely agree. If you seek and clarify feedback, you transform it into something that's very powerful and helps in your development. It means you're taking control of your professional growth and that you're interested in improving and that you value openness and transparency.
[00:11:01.310] - Imogen
Yeah, you can't wait for the perfect feedback. You need to seek it out. If you feel you are getting too much of one type of feedback, that's also something you should take note of, I think.
[00:11:14.680] - Amanda
Yeah, that's a lightbulb moment, isn't it? I think for me, remember, feedback is a gift. Now, sometimes it's wrapped in challenging packaging, but it always offers a chance to learn and improve if you just seek out that nugget of insight. Yeah.
[00:11:32.390] - Imogen
And if all else fails, you know, take that deep breath, have another biscuit, and try and carry on. Thank you for joining us on Dear Comms. In our next episode, we'll look at how you can give effective and useful feedback. So no matter the situation you're in, you're not leaving someone feeling confused or hurt. In the meantime, if you have a comms challenge you'd like us to tackle, drop it in the comments. Until next time.
[00:11:59.490] - Amanda
See you soon.
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